In some bizarre news, a frustrated Indian cricket team fan has gone on record and filed a Change.org petition to get Indian openers Shikhar Dhawan and Rohit Sharma out of the starting XI of the team.
Initial rumors suggested it was Virat Kohli himself who filed the petition, but it was later confirmed that Kohli was too tired after single-handedly carrying the Indian team into the semi-finals and this is the initiative of a fan, who wants to keep his name anonymous.
Our reporter caught up with the anonymous fan on the roof of a deserted half-built construction site and interviewed him.
“Shikhar Dhawan and Rohit Sharma come out to open the innings. Sometimes I forget to get the Pepsi or Coke, I just head to the kitchen and before I can get back Dhawan is already out. At times, I drop my packet of chips accidentally, and BOOM! There goes Rohit Sharma before I can even look up,” he said.
A very surprised reporter asked “But that is just...”
“Disappointing? Shocking? Downright frustrating? Yes, it absolutely is!” interrupted the fan.
“But that is just one match. Surely that cannot be the only reason. Why make the petition on Change.org?” asked the reporter.
“What do you mean why? I have hypertension at such a young age, and what do you think is the primary reason for that and also my hair loss. That in turn bothers my wife, which means it’ll also trouble me eventually which leads to more hair loss and high blood pressure. It is just a vicious infinite cycle, I tell you.”
“I still don’t understand you. But why now? There has always been players who have underperformed, why not do it back then?” asked a perplexed reporter.
“Why not now? You want us to lose the World Cup and then act upon it? I was trolled on Twitter by a Bangladeshi fan who pointed out that India has the lowest number of runs in the first six overs. I mean really? Worse than Pakistan and Sri Lanka? One side we've beaten 11 times in World Cup and the other team has openers whose names are hard to even spell for a common man.”
“Okay, but who are you to make a petition and expect the Indian team to abide by it?” the reporter inquired.
“Me? I am that guy who skips work to watch India’s matches. I am that guy who hosts his family and friends over at his house to watch India play. I am that guy who single-handedly does all the work, as his other colleagues let him down every single day. I am the guy who sees Virat Kohli suffer in the same way I do in my office. I am just a stupid common Indian Cricket team fan,” he proclaimed.
The reporter was flabbergasted to say the least as he barely managed to mutter any words. “Your intentions are good but the approach is not correct...”
“What do you mean my approach isn’t correct? They fail over and over again and still earn a spot in the team? They have failed on a Friday, they have failed on a Saturday and again on a Sunday, I’m just responding to them on a Wednesday.”
After an intense five seconds of silence, our reporter took out his laptop and went on to sign the Change.org petition showcasing his support towards the cause. If you too are convinced, below is the link for the petition, sign it up and voice your opinion!
“SIGN THE PETITION!”, says the stupid common Indian Cricket Team fan.
DISCLAIMER : This is a satirical piece and is meant to be taken with a pinch of salt.