When our sources close to the board reported that national selector-prospect Laxman Sivaramakrishnan’s email was deleted, we were eager to know what was happening in that bizarre and crazy inbox. We waited for days and days and finally got our chance to lay our hands on BCCI’s email account. So was his email deleted or was it in the spam? Well, there was more in the inbox than the leg-spinner’s ‘deleted’ email which has, since, astonished us.

Nonetheless, we moved on to more important ones. BCCI’s last email received was from the in-form batsman KL Rahul. Immediately, we wondered if his language too was as masterful as his strokes on the field. And yes, of course. He is KL Rahul, the man can literally do anything and everything under the sun. The email, however, was shocking as he requested the BCCI to allow them to go attend an episode of ‘Weekend ka vaar with Salman Khan.’ And we were genuinely disappointed that the greatest cross-over never happened in the history -  BCCI and Big Boss. Wonder how costly and judicial the show would have been for - Salman and BCCI - the two notoriously famous entities. They shattered KL Rahul’s childhood dream to the bed; absolute shambles. 

Now we know why they were lacklustre and hung-over. But no problems SLC, we got you covered, homie. And then, multiple unread short emails from Rishabh Pant got us to the email BCCI had sent to KL Rahul. Pant was obviously fuming, attaching the screenshots of BCCI’s last email conversation with the keeper, where they presumably wrote ‘We trust you, Rishabh Pant.’ Five months later, where has the trust gone was Pant’s question. Oh, Rishabh, we pant for you too.

However, unfortunately, it was already too late, for Rahul had  taken over from Pant as a limited-overs wicketkeeper. Now at this moment, we were already shocked but the best was yet to come. MS DHONI, the email and the name that we had been waiting for, finally popped up. The only email we found in the inbox, though, that dated to October 17, 2019, was that Dhoni had to appear and fulfil the commitment. Five days later, Dhoni made his first appearance, so everything indeed happens for a reason. 

It looks like they spent more money and time on Bhuvaneshwar than they have on all their domestic tournaments in the past three years. The expenses were in 10 figures and upwards, but we won’t reveal it, ‘cause, you know, it is highly confidential. But imagine, the richest cricketing board has not yet paid all their dues - guess they are humans working for the board after all. The high-pressure job sometimes gets the better of you. 

We dug deep and immediately were gifted with this email from the BCCI to Sourav ‘Dada’ Ganguly. It was BCCI’s email to Ganguly himself earlier for the post of ‘President,’ which was closely contested by two blocs - South India and East India. More specifically, it was a contest between N Srinivasan and Sourav Ganguly. Srinivasan put in the first step and immediately, the BCCI were unsure of whether they wanted to go back to him. Hence, they emailed Ganguly, asking the Indian legend to apply for the job. Before Ganguly, they also tried to contact Sachin Tendulkar, who was busy away with the lamp that the genie gave him. The biggest set of emails were yet to come.

Yuvraj in the email wrote, “Dear BCCI, It’s your boy, Yuvraj Singh, the winner of World Cups, mother of six sixes, man of past reputation writing to you for making that No.4 spot mine. I heard that you have had some issues regarding the No.4 position. Don’t worry, I got you covered, waiting for a callback.” And, the next few emails were just ‘hello, you there, get back soon,” from Yuvraj. 

On the other hand, Suresh Raina was more creative, he wrote “Dear BCCI, I will make that No.4 my own in the coming days for IPL is coming. And, if you think of going back to Yuvraj, I will ask you to wait till the IPL to see how the franchises have wasted money on the ‘fake’ all-rounder. He has gained more weight than me, he does not even score runs and more importantly, where has our ‘CSK’ quota gone? Regards, SR.” 

The BCCI's management indeed knows how to send emails to their players and we found that out today. In the sent box lied emails that they had sent to Hardik Pandya, Jasprit Bumrah, Bhuvaneshwar, Shikhar Dhawan and Rohit Sharma. The email to Hardik read, “Sorry Hardik, unfortunate that you had to miss out on the home season due to a stress fracture. Hopefully we will see you soon in India and not London. Till then, take care, we have sent some blessings your way, check your Bank of Maharashtra account, BCCI.” They went on to forward the same email, just changing the name to Jasprit Bumrah and sent it to the pacer after his stress-fracture. 

On the other hand, they sent warning emails to Shikhar Dhawan after his injury ahead of the West Indies series. The email was straight-forward, ‘get fit or get dropped from the Indian team cause we got KL Rahul’. The follow-up read, ‘We’ve got Rahul. KL Rahul. I just don’t think you understand. He’s Virat Kohli’s man. He’s better than Dhawan.’ It was the first warning sign for what was Dhawan’s future in the Indian team. The list continues for we had only 30 minutes with the account. Murali Vijay, Vijay Shankar, Dinesh Karthik, Kedar Jadhav, Siddarth Kaul and Khaleel Ahmed were a few of them in the list. 

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to real persons or other real-life entities is purely coincidental. All characters and other entities appearing in this work are fictitious.

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