If gymnastics, why not Yoga? ; India to demand that Olympic Committee make Yoga Olympic sport by 2020

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If gymnastics, why not Yoga? ; India to demand that Olympic Committee make Yoga Olympic sport by 2020

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Ayesha d'Souza

06/21/2016

On the eve of the Yoga day 2016, newly appointed sports minister Jitendra Singh stole the thunder from right under the PM's nose when he dispatched off a petition to the IOC demanding that yoga be made an Olympic sport, that too by the 2020 Olympics.

Jitendra Singh, who is a professor of endocrinology and diabetes, is very eloquent in person. Asked about the decision, he said, “Western inventions like gymnastics have ruled the roost for long, and that is the chief reason why India has struggled to win medals at the Olympics. If gymnastics, then why not the ancient art of yoga? It is time the medal tables underwent a sirsasana”.

 Sirsasana © Getty

Pressed for details of the resolution, he said, “The West finally needs to acknowledge the timeless wealth of India, and this is the first step. The PM will read out the final draft of the demand in front of the entire nation on June 21st.

In fact, the PM's US visit included closed-room discussions about Mr. Obama coming down for Yoga day. We are confident Modi ji will promote world peace in the next Yoga day by yogaing alongside President Trump and President Putin.”

One confused reporter asked, “But how do you plan to evaluate the athletes and award medals?”

Answering it, Mr. Singh, who is Minister of state for Youth affairs and sports, Development of North Eastern Region, Prime Minister Office, Personnel, Public Grievances and Pensions, Department of Atomic Energy and Department of Space, and a few others which he remembers only mid-meditation said, “Let's call them yogathletes henceforth please. And we have already developed a complex scoring system developed under Ram Dev ji's guidance by the ever-lovely Shilpa Shetty. I'll let her explain it to you”.

And Ms. Shetty obliged. “See. In Olympics, figure skating is scored like this. 50% for figure. 50% for skating. We plan to apply that here and call it figure yoga. I am still meditating on how to score the yoga part though”.

The news was met with widespread applause–even from far away Russia where the 2020 Olympics will be held. Lending his support, the Russian Olympic head said, “Anything from Indyeah, we love it, want it, and support it. We loved Raj Kapoor. We loved Mithun da. We will love Yoga. We want our 2020 Olympics to have the honor.

In fact, our athletes were under an Ayurvedic program for the past ten years, and these Western nations conspired to call it a “systematic doping program. Sorry Sharapova. We will fight the good fight on this with Indyeah's support," he concluded.

 © Getty

NOTE: The content of this article is a work of fiction and meant as a satire alone. Readers are advised not to confuse this as being genuine and true.

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