As is the case with almost everything in life, the art of batting, too, is often judged by the grace, elegance and style brought to the table by the batsmen. Now, if elegance was the only parameter to judge a batsman, it's fair to say that our two fighters today would be nowhere near the pantheon of great batsmen. 

The bell rings and the two men go about the fight the only way they know - toiling hard right from the word go. Stature wise, ‘Biff’ has a clear advantage, for he’s almost 6’3 and is built like a beast, but that doesn’t matter as it’s Gambhir, whose career average of 39.68 is superior to Smith’s 37.98, who lands the first blow.

ROUND 2 -> AVERAGE IN FOREIGN CONDITIONS: Two in two for Gauti

The Big Man is clearly irked by losing the first round and decides to come hard at Gambhir in round two, but the reflexes learnt on the streets of Delhi, swerving away from the honking vehicles, comes to the India’s rescue as he stays out of harm’s way and lands YET ANOTHER clean punch to leave Smith red-faced. Literally. The Delhiite’s away average of 39.12 is three more than Smith; almost in accordance with the ICC Trophy count.

ROUND 3 -> AVERAGE IN HOME CONDITIONS: Smith announces his arrival in style

I mean, we all saw this coming, didn’t we? There was no way Smith was going to just stay there absorbing punch after punch. The South African has had enough and so after two dreadful rounds, he finally asserts his authority with a hulking left-jab which leaves ‘Gauti’ numb. Gambhir’s average at home of 37.29 is no match to Smith’s 40. Game on, fellas!

ROUND 4 -> AVERAGE IN NEUTRAL VENUES: Homesickness comes to bite Smith on the backside

Smith might be the king at home, as the previous round indicated, but they are, in fact, fighting it out at a neutral venue today and the South African has little idea of what this means. A right hook followed by an uppercut from Gambhir stuns Smith, who just cannot believe that the Indian boasts of an average of 46.32 in neutral venues, 12 more than his own tally of 34.63. 

ROUND 5 -> AVERAGE IN MAJOR TOURNAMENTS: Biff fails to escape Gauti’s pounding

Jeeez! We all know Gambhir is one angry young man, but him translating that anger into lusty blows with his fists inside the ring has genuinely taken every single one of us aback. I mean, the guy is fighting Graeme Smith, SOMEONE WHO IS ALMOST TWICE HIS SIZE! Phew. Smith throws EVERYTHING he’s got at Gambhir but it’s not enough as he still falls short, due to his average in major tournaments of 40.56 being inferior to Gambhir’s 41.45. 

ROUND 6 -> STRIKE RATE:  DO WE HAVE AN EARLY KNOCKOUT ON THE CARDS?

If someone had told me prior to this match that this would be a one-sided contest, I would not have been bemused and would have backed Smith to get the job done quickly. BUT HOLY S*** WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? Six rounds is all we’ve had and Gambhir has ALREADY WON FIVE. The former KKR skipper’s strike rate of 85.25 makes a mockery of his counterpart’s numbers, which is a meagre 80.81. 

ROUND 7-> 50 TO 100 CONVERSIONS (in %): SOMEBODY STOP THIS CONTEST ALREADY!

I cannot believe I’m saying this, but this match-up has thus far been more one-sided than Aaron Finch vs Matthew Hayden. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? I thought the two of them were equally matched. DAMN! Gambhir’s conversion rate of 24.40% being superior to Smith’s 17.54% means that he’s just gone ahead and pocketed his SIXTH ROUND of this contest. 6/7. Incredible.

Round 8 -> PERCENTAGE OF FIFTIES IN WINNING CAUSES: THIS IS OFFICIALLY A JOKE!

I simply cannot fathom what I’m witnessing. Gambhir has just gone ahead and won his SEVENTH ROUND OF THIS CONTEST!  I don’t ever think we’ve had such a one-sided yet crazy battle in Friday Fights history. Smith’s percentage of fifties in winning causes (74.46%) is world-class, but IT IS STILL NOT ENOUGH as Gambhir’s 76.47% is enough for the Indian to walk away as the victor of this round. 

Round 9 -> PERCENTAGE OF HUNDREDS IN WINNING CAUSES: STOP THE PRESS - GRAEME SMITH IS STILL ALIVE

MADNESS! The contest is still alive! Smith has just risen from the Ashes to deliver a telling blow. And Gambhir gets a taste of his own medicine - the one he gave Smith in Round 8. The Indian’s percentage of hundreds in winning causes (72.72%) is incredibly good, but it ends up looking like a joke in front of Smith’s 80%. EIGHTY PERCENTAGE OF HUNDREDS IN WINNING CAUSES. The contest is not done, folks! Hang in there!

Round 10 - NO OF FIFTY PLUS SCORES IN SUCCESSFUL CHASES: BIFF IS NOT GIVING UP!

*In the voice of Jim Ross*: “Grame Smith has hit Gambhir with a stunner. Graeme Smith has hit Gambhir with a stunner.”  Gambhir might be a Member of Parliament back in India, but here in the middle of the ring, he is powerless - and helpless - against Smith’s new-found will-power as his tally of 22 50+ scores in successful chases is THREE fewer than Smith’s 25. It’s going right down to the wire, this contest!

Round 11 - AVERAGE IN H2H MATCHES:  A HAT-TRICK OF WINS FOR GRAEME SMITH

TURNAROUND COMPLETE, SHIFT IN MOMENTUM SUCCESSFUL!  Three bludgeoning blows from the Proteas and it looks like the first eight rounds of this contest have been erased from history. And arguably, this has been the strongest punch landed by any player in this contest so far. Smith’s average in H2H matches of 29.25 is almost TWICE AS GOOD as Gambhir’s tally, which is a hideous 15.5. Well, well, well. 

Round 12 - AVERAGE IN ICC KNOCKOUT MATCHES: GAMBHIR’S BOLT FROM THE BLUE KNOCKS SMITH OUT!

WE DIDN’T SEE THIS COMING, NOT AFTER THE PREVIOUS THREE ROUNDS. No idea what Smith did to awaken the monster within Gambhir, but the Delhite, out of the blue, after having absorbed tonnes of blows in the previous three rounds, comes up with a ferocious jab TO KNOCK THE SOUTH AFRICAN OUT!  As it turned out, his average in ICC knockout matches of 58.00 is what ended up KNOCKING OUT Smith, whose average of 13.25 was no match. A poetic end to a bizarre yet titanic contest! 

WINNER BY TECHNICAL KNOCKOUT - GAUTAM GAMBHIR

FINAL SCORE: GAUTAM GAMBHIR 113 - 103 GRAEME SMITH

The scoreline makes it look closer than it was but in all honesty, except for the three crazy rounds Smith had towards the end, it was all Gambhir! It does come as a surprise, for we never thought of the Indian as such a force in ODI cricket, but sometimes a deep delve into statistics can be a proper eye-opener. Just goes to show you what an underrated cricketer Gambhir is. Either way, that brings a wrap to the May 8 edition of Friday Fights and we sincerely hope that you enjoyed it. We shall be back next week with an equally crazier battle, but until then, tada!