Portugal | The Hare-Tortoise tale and Ronaldo's lasting 'Legacy'

Portugal | The Hare-Tortoise tale and Ronaldo's lasting 'Legacy'

no photo

|

© Cristiano Ronaldo Twitter

You must be acquainted with the story of the tortoise and the hare – the one where the overconfident hare takes a nap, only to see the cumbersome tortoise win what was the most mind-numbing race in animal fables' history. There was also a fable about how fables should not be taken literally, but no one has heard about it. As we have come to know, Portuguese people can be brilliant translators, and they seemed to have translated the aforementioned fable into their footballing philosophy. Although, it is still not clear who the slumbering rabbit is, in this race: the inexplicable number of teams whom Portugal have bored into submission to reach the semis, or the sports journalists across the globe who drew the short straw and got the tedious task of covering Portugal's matches.

This is a team who are yet to win a match in normal time, and while the broadcasters are savoring it, the average office-goers are running out of excuses for turning up late for work in countries like India. Things are unlikely to improve when Portugal take on Wales on Wednesday. Few more meetings will be rescheduled, and few more breakfasts will be skipped.

The match in itself is being seen as a chance for Cristiano Ronaldo to redeem his failure 12 years ago. Ronaldo was 19 back then, and he witnessed his team lose to Greece in the final of the Euros at home. The Real Madrid star missed two glorious chances to equalize for his team, and after the match he was seen weeping, inconsolably, near the center circle. He must be praised for not quitting international football right then - very few have the strength or the growth hormones required to overcome such heartbreaks.

Now at the age of 31, Ronaldo has the chance to redeem himself and leave a lasting heritage. However, the man who replaced him as the costliest footballer, the man who is earmarked to replace him as the Bernabeu's heartthrob in the future, is once again in his way. Bale is turning out to be as big a nuisance as Lionel Messi in Ronaldo's quest for glory. Ronaldo apparently has just two words for them - “small mentality”.

But the part-time prima donna and full-time footballer is not to be denied from leaving his lasting legacy. Hence, few days back he launched a long-lasting fragrance named Legacy. “The heart of Cristiano Ronaldo Legacy is comprised of luxurious orris and aromatic sage and rosemary,” the sales pitch read.

 © Cristiano Ronaldo Official Twitter

He is also set to feature in a self-produced movie named “How Ronaldo inspired his teammates by being inspirational, the same way an unnamed argentine who plays for Barcelona could not”. To top it all, he is also planning a sequel, depending on Wednesday's result, named “Gareth Bale is just a younger Ronaldo, who is older”.

But hidden behind all this attention seeking, his big ego, and the shining hair gel is a compassionate and filthy-rich human being. His other side came out when he expressed his sadness at seeing his greatest rival Messi in tears after the Copa America final. It saddened him and perhaps reminded him of that night in Lisbon 12 years ago. Ronaldo went on to hope that Messi returns from his international retirement, and that a penalty miss “doesn't make you a bad player”.

Messi's tears had touched a chord. It even inspired his teammate Ricardo Quaresma to tattoo two tears on his right cheek. After being overlooked over the years by Ronaldo, whenever the Real Madrid star was in possession of the ball, Quaresma hopes to finally earn some compassion from his teammate. He hopes the tears will do what his flamboyant hairstyles over the years could not—get Ronaldo's attention.

 ©

However, Gareth Bale has Ronaldo's undivided attention for now, as he prepares for one of the biggest individual battles of his life. Can Ronaldo's legacy last the night, or will it become dragon-food for dinner? This will be Ronaldo's second-last chance to make a lasting impact on his international career, and vanquish any doubts that skeptics might still have over his greatness. If he fails though, he always has one more chance to do so - by moving back to Manchester United.

PS - This is a satire and is meant to be taken with a pinch of salt.

Get updates! Follow us on

Open all