Satire Saturday | Shashank Manohar gets reality check after stepping down as ICC Chairman

Satire Saturday | Shashank Manohar gets reality check after stepping down as ICC Chairman

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‘There is no doubt that cricket owes Shashank a debt of gratitude for all he has done for the sport. He has left cricket and the ICC in a better place than he found it’ - was ICC deputy chairman Imran Khwaja’s statement when Shashank Manohar took the farewell.

Manohar was ecstatic after the Online farewell bestowed by the ICC and all the good words that ICC Chief Executive Manu Sawhney and Imran Khwaja had for him, which made him believe that he really had a great outing. To celebrate his time, Manohar, who didn’t even have a passport until 2007, flew to Dubai with a specially-arranged plane and stayed put in a paid ICC hotel. 

His long-standing lawyer friend from the UK, Dr Stewart Robertson, who was already in the Emirates, joined him in Dubai for a game of chess with the outgoing ICC head. Robertson, who had many legal battles with Manohar on the other side in the Court of Arbitration, called Manohar to have a game of chess instead of having a drink at the lobby. The duo headed in the direction of Armani Hotel Bankers Lounge, which had a computerised chess table, and took their seats.

With Robertson making some Rook Maneuvers to start the proceedings, Manohar became cautious, with his pawns, making strategic moves to keep his Queen safe from Robertson’s fast draws. It was a light game of chess with none being really serious about it and the normally reticent Manohar started to explain his tenure to his friend, who he believed was not really privy to what happened in the ICC.

The Vidarbha man started with how his five-year tenure was a historic one for world cricket and how he single-handedly stopped the BCCI hegemony once and for all. Mr Stewart, who was contemplating his next move, suddenly looked at him, before giving a reluctant nod. Sensing that, Manohar started with the Big Three turnover and how that ensured world cricket was spared from the disturbing dynamics of being governed by few elites. It was when Stewart showed the mirror and reverted back, “Sorry Shashank. Didn’t you give the BCCI a huge 400 million USD share after they flat out rejected your proposal of having 100 million less? They bullied you there with your medicine. I am not buying that.”

Shashank Manohar didn’t have any idea that Robertson had a clearer picture of the BCCI-ICC catfight that started ever since he rejected the BCCI president position for the ICC Chairman. Letting that pass, he moved his rooks to flatten Robertson’s first knight, keeping his pawns to safeguard the first-moved Rook. But Robertson downplaying his “major achievement” played to the part of Manohar being erratic inside, as he quickly brought up India's failed request to quash Pakistan from the World Cup. 

Seeing Robertson paying attention to the topic, Manohar proudly stated how he kept politics at bay and shut all the doors for India as far as their participation in the 2019 World Cup was concerned. But Robertson was no kid as he had done his research and so he instantly fired back, “But tell me if I’m wrong Shashank, didn’t you and your ICC side with the BCCI in the BCCI-PCB Bilateral series controversy. Do you really think that the agreement signed between two boards was not really an official one? C’mon, you can’t kid-glove me.”

“But what about the spike in World Cricket structure? The associates found a bigger share, a voice and most importantly, a creditable growth,” Manohar asked, highlighting one of the key progress during his regime. “Are you serious?” asked Robertson. “You just hosted a 10-team World Cup and a mess of a final too. I’m sure your love for associates was there when they were crying for representation on the biggest stage of all.”

“But we had to do that to give quality cricket,” Manohar replied, borrowing the famous excuse by the supporters from the idea, to which an informed Robertson, who had made a complete analysis to take on Manohar, replied, “You are saying that after organising a World Cup qualifier without DRS and a reserve day. You all know the truth that Scotland were hard done in the process. Could you do the same if it were an India, England or Australia? Surely it was not that hard. For goodness sake, BCCI is using the DRS in the Ranji Trophy.”

“Does that really matter? They were giving a half-baked product,” pat came the reply from Manohar. 

“But they are at least giving and ensuring an effort. As the head of the ICC, hosting a World Cup qualifier, you made a joke of that event, Shashank. Steve Elworthy has done more for cricket than you have ever done, my friend. Had you at least ensured BCCI’s hegemony in cricket governance, you could have claimed the brownie point, but alas..”

Agitated by his friend’s comments, Manohar claimed he ensured BCCI couldn’t spray its flout as he removed them from the ICC Finance and Commercial Affairs Committee, clearly the most important committee of the World Body. But that also met with the same fate as Stewart claimed that it mattered for a little when BCCI always found their way in terms of financial management, with Lion’s Share still being their domain. To prove his point, Robertson showed the Nagpur lawyer some calculation, and how BCCI’s coffer for the 2018-19 ICC cycle remuneration was two and a half times the 93 Associates combined. 

As had been the case in the last five rounds of arguments, Manohar had been silenced once again, with the waiter coming in for the last order. The game, however, was on by then, with shrewd Robertson having the upper hand with his knight capturing the rook and then getting close to the pawn with a fine manoeuvre.

Manohar was restless and his celebratory mood had been completely put off to give rise to a whole new disturbing set-up. Stewart kept his hand on his shoulder before setting his Queen to give the King a check and said, “Mate, you are always a pawn in this dark game. You thought you were having your own but the master string-puller was making a solid move to protect his pieces and now, you know who the real Queen was!”

With a nod, Manohar left for his room. Robertson gave a wry smile and followed suit. 

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