Michael Clarke feels he should have quit after Philip Hughes' death

After Ricky Ponting, Clarke was the man who took the responsibility of Australian cricket team. In his eleven years of representing Australia, he played 115 Tests and 245 ODIs for the Kangaroos in which he scored 8643 and 7981 runs respectively. But, he saw many ups and downs before he announced his retirement in August 2015 after losing his good friend Hughes, in 2014. 

"It took me a lot longer to grieve his loss than it should have, or that I would have liked. I didn't allow myself to grieve at the time because I had the responsibility to his family, firstly, but then also as Australia's cricket captain to my teammates and getting us back out onto the field."

"My greatest strength as a small boy growing up and all through my career was that I was never scared. The faster they bowled, the easier it would be to score. I liked batting without a helmet on occasions; they'd bowl at your head and I'd love playing the hook or the pull shot.

"Even if it was just my subconscious, when I lost one of my best mates playing the game that we love, I think my subconscious worked out that you can actually die playing this sport. Even if it was the smallest bit of fear, you can't play at the highest level like that," Clarke said

"Going to the West Indies was probably the worst tour of my life in regards to how emotional I was. I was there on my own. UnfortunatelyKyly [his wife] couldn't come because she was pregnant and we weren't comfortable with her flying. I had six weeks in the West Indies … whatever we had on as a team during the day I would go back to my room every night and just cry myself to sleep."

Clarke cleared that he has failed to overcome the pain Hughes' passing and the loss is still raw in his mind. But he mentioned that his family supported him during his low phase which has helped him a lot over the years.

"For me it was perfect timing [to start a family]. It was another reason why I knew it was the right time to retire because I couldn't spend 10 months of the year away from my little girl. As a sportsman and a husband, I think I was very stuck in my ways. Having a little girl has softened me a lot. I wish we had her 10 years earlier because she's been the best thing for me."

Clarke hung up his boots in 2015 after the final Test of the Ashes series against England and to continue his engagement with the game he joined Channel Nine as a commentator and whilst running the Michael Clarke Cricket Academy as well.