Satire | Rift between BCCI and CoA as Australia deny India practice games before tour
sportscafe
It was absolute bedlam inside the BCCI office as soon as Cricket Australia mailed their refusal of letting India play any sort of practice games Down Under. The body called out for an immediate meeting with top officials and the team management with Mr. Dubey given the most difficult job.
Sitting inside his AC car,
Dubey was given a lightning-quick brief about his mission before leaving the headquarters. He was aware of the simmering tension between the two with his boss issuing him a clear warning. “Listen
Dubey offered to carry the luggage and while Choudhary handed him his, Rai kept his with himself stating, “I still have the strength to carry my burden, unlike some people,” all the while watching Choudhary from the corner of his eye.
The three walked to the car at a brisk pace before Choudhary swiftly opened the nearest door and sat by the window. Rai stopped angrily and so did Dubey, who was confused as to what went wrong now. “I always sit on the left side of the car. He knows that and he did it on purpose,” said Rai. Dubey was silenced. It reminded him of his early marriage days when he used to bring his kids from school.
Dubey tried explaining to Rai that the right side was actually better as he could see more greenery on the way, to which Choudhary giggled and named all the parks that would fall on the left on the way. Eventually, Dubey ended up begging Rai, “Please Sir, we have a serious situation at hand.” It worked.
The journey to the headquarters started with Rai asking the specifics of the meeting. A careless Dubey said, “Sir, didn’t you get the mail about the discussions to be done? I was told it was sent to everyone.”
His statement was followed by a loud laughter by Choudhary, the moment when Dubey realized that he had entered the trap himself. “You know why it is that way, right Vinod? Your job would only be to write the minutes and submit it to the SC,” said Choudhary. “You’re as useless as Ashok Dinda in the death overs.”
Dubey was fast to divert the conversation this time. “Sir, CA has refused to give India practice games and has asked India to directly play the Cricket Australia XI match. The reason, they said, would be discussed in a video conference in few hours.”
The car reached the headquarters in half-an-hour as Rai noticed Ravi Shastri in the lobby while getting down from the car. He knew the evening was spoiled then and there. A voice was heard throughout the building that asked everyone concerned to come to the conference room. A handful of people knew about it, who proceeded to the third floor. Seeing Shastri and Choudhary getting into the lift, Rai decided to use the stairs.
They sat in front of the large screen, waiting for the CA officials to initiate the call dot at 5 pm. Shastri’s unrest was evident, who was nervous if Virat Kohli would even make it before the meeting actually started, and Rai was having his vicarious pleasure watching the coach in trouble. Shastri was wearing his sunglasses in the dim lighted central air-conditioned hall for reasons known to everyone and unknown to few.
A ring was heard all of sudden as the screen flashed Michael Kasprowicz and Mark Taylor looking at the camera with smiling faces. Choudhary was too impatient to go to the formalities and directed his question straight at Kasprowicz asking the sudden reversal in their decisions. The Australians looked calm and composed from their side as they started explaining.
“We have changed our policies in the last few months, and this decision is a consequence of that,” said Taylor.
“Could you entertain us with the specifics?” asked Rai in a more civilized manner, trying to make amends for Choudhary’s hasty behaviour earlier.
Kasprowicz turned the camera slightly towards him and stated in a serious tone. “We are a byproduct of what the media and the society wanted. After years of being viewed in the bad light and being criticized for it, we have decided not to persist with it anymore.”
While everyone was taking their time to understand what was just said, Shashtri, who was quiet all this while, blurted out, “Holy shit! He is using Legion’s voice from Ghostrider!”
While Rai kept looking at Shastri in disbelief, Choudhary asked, “Hold on. When did we throw mud at you? Or are you implying as a cricketing community? ”
“Precisely, the later one,” said Kasprowicz, “After Smithy and Warnie were accused of the ball-tampering thing, people looked at the whole nation as thieves. We have to change the image and we wouldn’t want to be a part of other associations that have unfair practices either.”
“What wrong did we do now?” asked an evidently pissed-off Rai.
“You didn’t allow Windies to practice before their tour,” came a response from the other side.
“But, that is a whole different issue altogether. We have domestic tournaments going on and it would have been impossible for us to provide
“We’ve cited the same reason, right?” replied Taylor.
“You know very well Micheal we are not buying that bullshit. We know how many grounds you have and what is the scale of your domestic tournaments,” Choudhary answered.
“Neither will we buy your lie,” said Kasprowciz “You have a freaking over 50 international stadiums.”
“Okay, you want to know the truth! Listen,” shouted an angry Choudhary “There was no point wasting ground, facilities, or security behind a team that is coming just for the sake of playing. The team has no one and we have our own problems to deal with. So, we asked ICC to allot them a place in Dubai, which is decent enough!”
A confused Taylor stated, “If this is your hidden reason, I am happy ours is much more reasonable. And how can one practice in Dubai to play in India? We can make similar arrangements for Indian players, do you want?”
Before anyone could say anything Shastri stood up protesting, “No way! Jaddu and Bhuvi had sunburnt all over their faces! Hardik got back spasms and even his hairdo got spoiled! We aren’t going to the desert ever again!”
“What’s your reason?” asked Choudhary as a befuddled Shastri sat down seeing no one sharing his enthusiasm.
“We are already without Steve and David. The little chance we have of beating you guys is by taking you by surprise. Giving practice games will ruin the very fundamental plan of ours!” said Kasprowicz.
“This is just sick! You cannot do this. I am calling ICC right away. Dubey, get on a conference call with them!” screamed Choudhary and soon Dave Richardson was seen sharing the large screen.
Richardson listened to BCCI’s complaint and thought for a moment before eventually asking, “Amitabh, I can ask CA to change their decision but you have to give me your word in return.”
The BCCI officials kept on staring at the screen as Richardson said, “Come under the purview of WADA and help cricket get into Olympics.”
“That’s not possible,” both Choudhary and Rai said unanimously. This was the first time Dubey had seen them agreeing on something as his eyes welled with tears. Thinking Richardson played no further role amidst the heartfelt union, Dubey disconnected the call.
The awkward silence was broken as Rai turned his attention to Kasprowicz and said, “You have no right to hold any moral high ground if you’re thinking that.”
“Yes, you guys don’t even pay your players well,” said Choudhary cutting Rai, “At least one cannot blame us for that. Disgusting! Dubey, see if any of our players are here at the moment. Call him in and he will say!”
An excited Dubey, proud of how Rai and Choudhary were fighting together, blurted out with a smiling face, “Yes sir. I saw Murali Vijay down this evening. He was with his lawyer discussing a few things. I am bringing him right away Sir!”
Choudhary and Rai kept staring at each other as Dubey rushed downstairs, while Kasprowicz and Taylor giggled out loud and disconnected the call. The hall was silenced all of a sudden, with Choudhary and Rai sitting with their hands on head, frustrated.
Within no time, Choudhary screamed at him, “This is all your fault! Had you cleared us out of this RTI proceedings, our image would have been clean and none of this would have happened!”
“Are you even listening to yourself?” Rai screamed back “Your allegations are as baseless as your existence!”
By the time Dubey had come up with Vijay, the duo had already thrown few bottles at each other, and Shastri was seen hiding two bottles in his bag. Dubey’s dream had broken as Vijay had a slight grin on his face.
Cricket FootBall Kabaddi
Basketball Hockey
SportsCafe
