Hold on, wait a minute! Shouldn’t the title be why your team suck without there being 2020 next to it, cause this franchise really really sucks! In case you need an introduction, they are the Royally Challenged Bangalore side, oh sorry, Royal Challengers Bangalore, who aim to break trophy drought.
There are enough reasons for all of us to hate 2020 - COVID-19 induced lockdowns, lack of live cricket but nothing bigger than expecting Chris Morris to be the MVP of the tournament. Such is the audacity of the RCB fans, who have a lot of wooden titles against their name, not a silver one. Liverpool of the Indian Premier League, with the exception, of course, a title and don't forget, RCB throws away lead, unlike Liverpool.
Your Team: Kohli, de Villiers and wooden sticks
Your 2019 record
Five wins - Eight losses and winners of IPL the wooden spoon
The worst side last season but are you surprised? That has been pretty much RCB’s motto since the early days when their owner was still in the country - go big or go bust. However, there is a catch to that phrase, even though they were led by a ‘King of Good Times,’ their franchise in the IPL never had the latter - good times but they had the King.
They won exactly five games throughout the course of the tournament, and the start was as usual, with a loss against Chennai Super Kings. Tell me one thing, how can a side that possesses the likes of Virat Kohli, AB de Villiers, Moeen Ali, Shimron Hetmyer go all-out for just 70 runs? You’d presume that CSK has one of the best bowling units which made it possible! Partially you would be right but more importantly, RCB tactically have been nothing short of a ‘mess.’
If RCB appeared for a basic arithmetic class, they won’t get the basic addition, 1+1 right, cause that’s them! Last season, they couldn’t figure out their best combination, their best players leave their bowling unit, which has been a mess for the longest years. Their five wins came like once in a blue moon, with a double over KXIP and wins against Mumbai, Chennai and Sunrisers Hyderabad to round it up, and all of them in pretty close fashion, which suggests their season, pretty shambolic.
Am I surprised? Heck no, this is a franchise which wouldn’t surprise me any day, any year! They have been compared to Arsenal but should they be? Arsenal at least have titles in the last few years but RCB, a cabinet clean as ever, more than what a thief would leave in an open house.
Your coach: Simon Katich
For a year, I thought the franchise could not go from being coached by Gary Kirsten to becoming a joke of the century under Simon Katich. The same Katich, whose brilliant strategic acumen helped KKR finish outside the top four despite having Andre Russell in their unit. The same Australian, who probably was giving the instructions for Russell to bat lower down the order.
Any way, Katich has represented KXIP in the past. By now you should have known that those signs are enough to suggest that RCB isn’t going anywhere on the leaderboard, at least from the top end. Oh, if you were more interested, the Australian also has already come out with a decision of making AB de Villiers the keeper of the team, well talk about a dramatic decision to throw the team under the bus!
Your MVP: Virat Kohli
Just like how David Warner is to SRH, Virat Kohli is to RCB, with the exception of trophies of course, how could we ever miss that! The franchise has trusted more in Kohli than all of its coaches combined, which talks how dependent they are on the star player. He did score 464 runs, at an average of 33.14 but at what cost? This is the same batsman who had scored 973 runs in the 2016 season but what happened last year? Would they now blame Anushka Sharma for it or am I too late?
If your best batsman could only average 33.14, that clearly is enough to support the fact that the franchise finished top, from the bottom! On top of that, their dependency on Kohli-De Villiers has also been one of the biggest reasons that they have failed to capture the title. Remember in 2011 when they reached the final? It wasn’t because of Kohli or de Villiers but because of Chris Gayle, who they didn’t retain and that’s how Karma works, folks!
What’s new that sucks
I wouldn’t say new but Dale Steyn in 2020 is an extremely emotional decision and that’s it! He has been ‘rested’ by the South African team and don’t ask about his performance in the BBL, it was just reduced to being injured. On top of that, the way they went on the auction table, despite having Mike Hesson is what makes it more cringe. They shelled Rs 4 crores on Kane Richardson, who is not going to be picked at any cost in the franchise.
If you think that was it, there was nothing more they could do that would suck, then you are wrong, hahaha! After being broken midway into forcing to give up on Pat Cummins, the franchise shelled 10 crores on Chris Morris. With Rs 10 crores, they could have filled Bangalore with 1,25,156 Netflix connections and could have bought 12,50,000 Masala Dosas from MTR but not him. They decided to purchase that one player, who has performed horribly in competitions around the world, ask Delhi for a matter of fact!
What always sucked
An oxymoronic-al question especially when RCB are involved, they have always sucked! Everything about the franchise sucks, their selection, their captain and moreover their obnoxious fan base. I would even understand the Mumbai Indians and Kolkata Knight Riders fans now but this franchise’s fan base is another level. They haven’t won an IPL thus far, they have just reached three finals, where they have choked thrice, oh well 100% for choking.
On top of all of these, if I was an RCB fan, I would have clearly drowned in a cup of water, for supporting the franchise which has the perfect ingredient required to win a T20 competition but can’t! They have Virat Kohli, who is least bothered about the franchise winning the tournament until this year, going missing whenever they need him to.
And, more importantly, your ‘Ee Sala Cup Namde,’ enough of that, please!!
What might not suck
It’s pretty weird, everything about this franchise sucks with the exception of two batsmen - AB de Villiers and Virat Kohli. That has been RCB in short, a two-man party of AB-Kohli which has done it all for them since 2011. However, this season, make that two into three, as it would be pretty exciting to watch the southpaw Devdutt Padikkal perform. But it might really not suck watching them play, they give you more than enough reasons to smile and a good cricketing lesson - 1001 on how to lose cricket games.